Well i did it. I made it through another Christmas. For those of you who were wondering we did get a Christmas tree. I usually put it off but this year was my record at four days before Christmas. But its still up and four days after Christmas that's also a record.
   The kids all got what they wanted, well except Bubba got a truck he let us know he had no use for. "What a truck, i don't even like these." What was Santa thinking? What 5 year old boy doesn't like a truck? I guess Santa didn't remember that if its not a Wii game or it doesn't shoot something out of it he has no use for it. Good thing the elves only spent 6 dollars on it.
    Bunny did get her ipod. Thanks goodness if i had to hear her say the words ipod touch one more time i along with everyone else in the house was going to lose it.
   Shawn got a nice cold for Christmas. I guess i'll forgive him for leaving me with a out of control two year old, and a very disregulated daughter, and a baby that's just to young to help with anything, since this is the first time in 15 years of marriage that he's been to sick to go with me to a family gathering. But he's getting better and to quote a phrase i have to say alot around here (but not to him) "Good, because you have a lot of making up to do."
    I did really enjoy my day Christmas despite the exhaustion. I expecally enjoyed listening to my grandpa talk about my grandma who has been gone for almost 8 years now. I never tire of hearing him talk about her. And I never go to a family get together and not think of how much I still miss her.
    I do have to admit i'm glad its over. Christmas is alot of work and we seem to forget that Jesus is the reason for the Season. So hopefully in a couple days the tree will be down, the toys will be put away, Tater will be a little more regulated, and things can get back to normal. But then again, really what is normal for us and i think its probably going to be another seven or eight years before all the toys are put away. As for the tree, it would probably be easier to leave it up year round so the kids won't be so worried next year when its the last minute and we still don't have it up.

Making Applesauce

Sticky counter tops, messy floors, complaining, and sometimes arguing. That's what happens when we make applesauce. The whole time wondering "Why do I enjoy this?"  "Why?"

 Then I realized I do it for the conversations we have when the little ones go off to play because they've had enough "helping." I do it for the joking, the laughing and the wise cracks that one of them makes about the other one. I do it for the togetherness. This year I told each one of my olders that they could help in shifts, that way they didn't seem like they had to help the whole time. Well they still ended up in the kitchen at the same time all helping and I loved it. So for those few hours there was no video games, no one sitting in front of the TV. Just me and my olders cutting, cooking, and smashing. So as long as were eating homemade applesauce we'll be doing it together. Even if Duckie has to come home from college to help.











Updates

   I wanted to give everyone an update on Buc. Our appointment with the neurologist on Monday went well. She said he fit the criteria for having a confessional migraine. She ordered him to drink 60oz. a day of water, and start exercising (he was not happy about that) also to get on a regular sleep pattern. Shawn and I have often thought that when he stays up late at night that triggers his headaches. We have seen a pattern. We do go back next week for another MRI and a MRA to get a better look inside his head, blood vessels, etc. to make sure nothing else is going on and then for a follow-up right after that. I really liked her and think she seems very thorough. Please continue to pray that everything comes back ok and that this doesn't happen again.
   I also know some of you have been praying for Tater as well. I want to thank you. She did ok at therapy yesterday, but is really struggling with the holidays. Please continue to pray for her, the holidays are hard on her. They remind her of loss instead of happy times. Pray that we will continue to see progress with her healing through this difficult time.  Thanks again for all your prayers. We have defiantly felt them.

Scariest Day Ever

   I can't remember if this truly was the scariest day of my life, but it was definitely one of the scariest I've had so far.
  When the school called to say Buc had a migraine this was nothing new to me it happens about once a month. We have always blamed it on loss of sleep and he did have some short nights over Thanksgiving break and some early mornings. So as he was climbing in the car at the school we both just kinda looked at each other and said "saw this one coming."
   We got home and took the regular medicine the Doctor gave us followed by him throwing up everything he had ate in the last week and he drifted off into his normal migraine induced sleep.
   Two hours later i hear what i think is him yelling for me so i go into the room and ask him if he needed me. He jumped up like i had scared him and started talking about something i couldn't even understand what it was. He was looking at me as if he didn't see me and i realized something was seriously wrong. His face looked funny and he was really slurring his words. The only thing i could think was that he was having a stroke. As i was grabbing the phone my thought was Dr or 911? Well i called the Drs office who advised me to go to the ER. So i quickly called a friend who came to stay with the kids and in the mean time he started to wander around and really not make any sense. I decided i didn't want to try to take him to the ER myself so i called the squad. In the mean time i did have him squeeze my hands, which he couldn't do. He could tell me the date but not the ABC's.

   When the squad arrived he was making some sense but was still was really off. So we loaded up and got in the ambulance. I think that was the longest ride of my life. No really, there were no lights and i watched the speedometer, i would have been going fifteen miles faster than them. I rode up front and i could hear them asking him some questions and most of the time he made sense but he was pretty agitated and he kept trying to get of the bed that he was strapped to. I did feel a little like i had maybe overreacted a little but when he would try to get up i thought what if he had tried to open the car door.
   He was very out of it when we got to the hospital he couldn't comprehend that they wanted him to lay on a different bad they finally just had to pick him up and put him there. He ripped his gown off and kept swinging it around and wouldn't leave the blood pressure band on. I held it together until they tried to take his blood. Now here's a thirteen year old boy that weights about as much as me trying to hold him down as they take vial after vial of blood form him all the while he's yelling things that don't make any sense and swinging his arms and gown around his head. I finally said "Are you about done because i can't hold him much longer and i'm really afraid he's gong to hit one of you?" Well at that point i just laid across him and cried. I couldn't do it anymore, I was so scared. I just kept praying that God would take the pain or whatever was causing him to act so agitated away. At that time a nurse came in with a really long needle and said "this will help." Ask and you shall receive, right?                                    
   Anyway, he  did calm down enough to finally get a EKG, CAT, and urine sample (which i wondered how many nurses figured it would come back that he had taken some illegal substance) but they didn't they all came back normal. He did sit up a couple hours later and look at us like "where are we?" I said " hey your girlfriend texted you do you want me to text her back?" He said he could handle it and he did. I know because i watched he even spelled everything right. He told us that he felt a little whacked out and only remembered a little bit of what had happened.

  The CT scan did show a real deep sinus infection which they are treating with antibiotics. But they don't think that had anything to do with what happened. No one is sure why he reacted like that this time. All i know is i was scared and as i type i'm still crying. If it wasn't for his history with migraines i would have been on the phone with all his friend trying to find out if he had taken something he shouldn't have. It did feel good though to look over the seat in the car and see him texting his friends as he drifted in and out of sleep. When we got home he woke up long enough for us to tease him about getting the same shot in the butt that the drunks do who come into the ER causing a scene and he reassured Duckie that he could still whip his butt in Call Of Duty. So i think he'll be back to normal as soon as he sleeps off whatever was in that shot they gave him.

   As for me, i know this isn't my last scare with the kids, but this one was big enough to last me for awhile. Oh and yes i'm defiantly calling a neurologist in the morning.

I'm Thankful for.....

  With Thanksgiving two days away I thought what better to write about than what I'm thankful for.

   First and foremost I'm thankful for my Heavenly Father. Who i know i can count on every day. Who speaks to me through His Word, through music, through my kids, and many other ways. Who i know is always there and i am never alone and that he will help me get through every single day.
   I'm thankful for my children who are the light of my life. For their health, happiness, and their smiles. I'm thankful for my daughter who reminds me everyday that God is in control no matter how bad i want to be.
   I'm thankful for my parents who have been there for me and supported me in everything i did. For forgiving me for my bad choices and excepting me for who i am.
   I'm thankful for my sister-in-law who's the sister i never had. Who i know i can count on at anytime.
   I'm thankful for two women who chose life for their babies. Those babies are now enriching my life.
   I'm thankful for a special friend who started this foster/adopt journey at the same time i did and is still hanging in there. Who can constantly remind me what we learned in training that i have forgot, because things just stick with her so much better than with me. Her daily support and encouragement that means so much to me.
   I'm thankful for my adopted mom friends that have the same struggles i have day in and day out, but are in it for the long haul. Were gonna need each other.
   I'm thankful for my church where i can go and learn more about God every week I'm also thankful for my  church family that has always been so kind and understanding and has welcomed us with open arms.
   Lastly, I'm thankful for my husband who works hard to provide for his family, who wants me to be home with our kids everyday, who puts our needs first and is a wonderful father. Who shares my dreams and supports me, even when hes not sure he wants to. Who laughs with me when i laugh, and holds me when i cry. Who i know will always be there and is my very best friend.

One Long Week

So i was trying to figure out how i was going to get everything done this week. We had a HS meeting on Monday a 190 mile round trip to therapy with a hour and half session Tuesday, foster mom playgroup Wednesday, and home school swim class on Thursday. That would take up everyday but Friday and i wanted to get 6 lessons done with Bunny this week instead of 5 so we could take off an extra day for Thanksgiving break. Well i thought i had it all figured out and then cold season hit us in FULL force.
By Monday afternoon Buc was sick on the recliner, Bunny on the couch, Bubbas sound asleep on the rocking chair and Buster fighting off a fever in bed. I was kinda taking advantage to the quietness while the baby napped to catch-up on some laundry when the school called saying "Taters running a fever, you need to come pick her up." I know sooner got 1/4 mile form the school and she started to throw up all over herself and car seat. So after i got her changed and on the couch i had more laundry and a car seat to scrub. Oh and not to forget Bubbas who had woke up running a fever right along with the other ones. So i called Shawn and said "bring home some more Advil its going to be a long night."

When Duckie called after school and found out what was going on the first thing he said was "Please take a pair of jeans and a tee shirt and hang them on the outside of the door i'll swing by after play practice and pick them up. I think i'll stay with grandma tonight." Well that was fine with me because he has the lead in the school play that opens friday night.
Tuesday went about the same only it didn't involve any puke just alot of rocking, sleeping and cartoon watching. Duckie called again after school only to say i'm on my way home i feel terrible and i need to sleep awhile before play practice.

 I barely made it through supper just feeling drained and a little smothered when i thought it couldn't get any worse. Oh but it did, the power went out! So Shawn rigged up a flashlight from the ceiling fan so Bunny, Buc and him could play cards. While i read books to the little ones, all while the baby cried for a warm bottle that i just couldn't produce. Well after everyone had taken a flashlights to bed, the baby had decided that a cold bottle was better than no bottle and finally crashed and i, well i went to bed crying, the power did come back on.
The next couple days have went better and everyone is slowly getting better. Buster did need a trip to the Dr. for antibiotics for a double ear infection and Duckie got a round of antibiotics because, well because the show can't go on without him (at least that's what he thinks.)

But the best thing about the week was when, through all the chaos, i heard my sweet little Sissy bouncing up and down in her jump-up saying "Ma-ma, Ma-ma." It was music to my ears. It took me 7 kids to hear ma-ma as a first word and I'm gonna hold on to that forever.

For Me

   Well i'm finally doing it. I'm blogging. For a long time people have been telling me I should blog.  I had been telling myself  many reasons why I shouldn't, but then realized all the reasons I should. My reasons for not blogging had to do with so many different people and things, but my reasons to blog had to do with me. Why shouldn't I for the first time make something about me. So here it is a diary of my life. I hope you'll join me on my journey.