Paniced and Frusterated

We have been told sense we started talking about RTC for Tayler that our funding would only be good for 90 days. There was the possibility that we could find funding somewhere else, but there were no guarantee's. Our CMH board also talked with us about the possibility of giving up our parental rights to JFS for the time she is there, because by doing that it will cost the county less and she would be able to stay and get the help she needs. They talked like this was not really a big deal and we would get custody back when she was discharged from RTC. Of course we have never had to deal with anything like this so we have no idea how it works.

We questioned our adoption workers about this and they said it is a bigger deal then they made it sound and it's not that easy to get custody back.

Our CMH worker called yesterday and said that the funding will only cover 69 days instead of 90. I have been in a panic thinking about what will happen in 90 days, now I have to think about 69. No one ever told us 69 days.

We are in a panic and have no idea what to do. In 69 days I feel they will have only scratched the surface of her problems. 90 days would be a stretch.

I am scared I'm not going to be able to get the other kids the help they need before she comes home and takes up every minute I have. I'm still trying to figure them out and how they have been effected through all this. I am scared she will come home and have not worked through some of her issues. Raging and violence being the main ones. I am scared that my PTSD will take over again and I will no longer be able to think straight.

So for right now, I am trying to remember to breathe.