Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Feeling clueless

Buster is loving going to preschool. He is making new friends and doing a lot of new things. He only goes 2 days a week so he is constantly counting down the days until he can go again.

BUT he is really having a hard time when he comes home in the afternoon. From the time I pick him up, until we can get him into bed at night, he is a mess. He is wound so tight he can't relax and I usually end up sending him out to jump on the trampoline just to get him away from the other kids. He is loud, rough, throwing things, jumping off/on furniture etc..

With Tator being gone there are a lot of things that have become magnified at our house and Busters issues are one of them. He is so sweet and loving and I enjoy him so very much, but all the sudden his switch gets flipped and he goes wild. This is something we have been struggling with for a long time. I always blamed his behavior on what he has grown up seeing from Tator. I always thought if she was not here and I could focus on him his behavior would get better.

From about the time he was 2 I was sure he had Oppositional Defiance Disorder. I would tell him to do something and he would tell me No. It was so tiring fighting with him and I was so exhausted from dealing with Tator that I would just ignore it and go about my way, doing whatever I had told him to do because it was easier than fighting with him. Yep, I know, horrible parenting mistake.

Now that I have more time to fight with devote to the other kids, and energy determination to get it right with them, I am following through and things are changing. And I have to say for the most part things are getting better in that area, but i still have concerns.

Along with the total over stimulation that he is going through after school we deal with things like, total fear of loud things, from the sweeper to the mixer, getting completely out of control in stores. I've noticed that if I raise my voice to him or one of the other kids he will laugh hysterically, or yell and start to go crazy. He does best when you talk softly to him and redirect him somewhere else.

I have been struggling with this for a few weeks now not sure if this is a behavior thing that he can control or something else. He has been the one that has been impacted the most by Tators behavior, he has grown up watching it and sometimes was the one who took the punches. I can't imagine what that has been like for him. I know that nature verses nurture could override on this one and the aggressive strand of DNA he has from his birth family could play a big part in this. So could this be a behavior thing or could it be an overstimulated sensory thing? I'm not sure I don't know that much about sensory disorder.

Anyone have any ideas or suggestions? I would love to hear them. I feel totally clueless on this.


  1. Try a quiet time right after school with either a weighted vest or blanket. Music, cartoon, a book- whatever can catch his attention.

  2. Laurie is right -off and your idea of jumping on the trampoline can also be a calming technique for an over-stimulated nervous system. It also might be a good idea to have him evaluated by an occupational therapist who is trained specifically in testing for sensory issues to determine for sure if this is sensory or issues stemming from living thru the crises or possibly a combination of both. Keep us posted and take care sweet mama.