How's things going?

Things have been pretty up and down around here. Tator is doing well with the homeschooling part. She joyfully gets up and works in her workbooks. I had bought her a book with learning drills in it and found an extra third grade spelling book. ( For some reason when Bunny was in 3rd grade they sent me an extra spelling book. I had forgotten about it and found it while moving boxes into the new house. Total God thing!) She also spends a lot of time reading and writing stories. This is working really well for her.

Since I have brought her home from school she has a calmness about her that has allowed her to relax in her bed everyday at quiet time. She usually falls asleep giving her the extra rest she needs since we are at ball games about every night.

The behaviors that I believed were due to her anxiety with school ending are all gone.

With all that being said it has not all been peaches and cream. Her dark side had erupted again. I talked about one incident here and there have been a couple other incidents that I just can't bring myself to blog about yet.

Tator has put herself in danger a couple times now. These times make me realize how very sick she is. She has a new therapist that I think is going to finally help me get her the help she really needs. We will be meeting with her therapist and the mental health board next week to see what we can do to get her the help she so desperately needs.

Silly Sunday

This is the first Sunday in a long time that we
didn't have anything to do.
It was so relaxing.
We spent the evening outside playing.


The boys threw the baseball,
while Bunny and I hooped.

The boys also threw the frisbee.

Duckie being very dramatic trying to

catch it.

I asked the three oldest to pose so I could

take a picture of them together.

Bunny wouldn't get close to Buc,

she said he smelled.

So they tried to throw her in the ditch behind them.

Finally I just made her get out of the picture.



Another reason why I hate RAD.

Last night was Bucs last regular season baseball game. They won 2 to 1. It was a very good game. A nail bitter til the end. It may very easily have been his last baseball game ever. (other than tournaments next week)  He may not make the high school team or choose to even try out.

I did not sit with the rest of the parents and watch, cheering on the team or my son. I did not sit with my mom or my husband and eat pizza or hold baby Coco.

I sat on a bank behind the ball field restraining my 8 year old daughter while trying to talk her out of running over the bank into a five lane very busy road as she told me how much she wanted to kill herself. I tried to walk with her knowing that that would be what could get her regulated again, but she refused. Making her legs like spaghetti and laying on the ground. Although they could very quickly turn strong again when she decided to kick me or if I would let loose of her for a minute and she would run for the road.

I was very proud of my other children as we road home in the car and she yelled hateful things and talked with a potty mouth. Me, thanking God the whole way home she doesn't know any real bad words yet. They kept themselves together and didn't yell back or talk the way their sister was.

I've kept it together myself, I've not cried or thought about what would have happened if she made it to the road. I even was able to keep it together this morning as she was in her room screaming her lungs out and kicking her door. When my 7 year old son came up to me and said "I just want a new sister."

Oh I forgot to add that the I'm going to kill myself rage at the ballgame was because when I got her, Sissy and Buster up from naptime we quick jumped in the car to get Buc to his ballgame, run into the store, then get pizza to take to the ballgame and eat. I never thought about a snack. Of course neither did the 2 and 4 year old.

My guys