We have decided to put Tator back on Zoloft. Her psychiatrist had us decrease the Risperidone for 5 days to see if that helped with her mood. If it didn't help then we were supposed to put her back on the Zoloft. Then we'd know the Zoloft was doing more than we thought it was.
We stuck out her moodiness until today when we were supposed to decide if we were going to start her back up on it. And we decided that's what is best for her. She needed to go back on it.
She's had a rough weekend, a bad morning, and as a matter of fact the last couple weeks have been hard on her. I just really hope it was the switch in her meds that sent her for a loop and that it's going to get better again, or at least manageable, which was where we were before.
She's just so mad. She couldn't bond with me right now if she wanted to. She's way to disregulated. ODD had its way with me for the past couple of weeks and its just so frustrating.
She did let me rock her tonight, but she usually does. As she laid her head on my chest, I held her real close and pretended she loved me, because deep down I think she does. I held her close and listened to her breathing, wondering what she was thinking or who she was thinking about. I even pretended she was thinking about me when I'm sure I'm not the mom she was thinking about. I know its a long shot, but right now its all I got.