Baby Girl

Little Sissy you are such a blessing to us. Hard to believe you will turn one in a couple days.

The morning I took this picture I had gotten up extra early to get things done before the kids got up. I hadn't been up that long before I heard her hollering in her room. I went in with hopes to give her her Binky and she'd go back to sleep. When I got in there I was so surprised to see her sitting up in her crib. Even though she came to us straight from the hospital when she was two days old she hadn't had any prenatal care so she is a couple months delayed with her motor skills. She has been able to sit upright for a long time, but she had never pulled herself into an upright sitting position until this morning. I was so excited I had to wake up Bunny who was sound asleep beside her.

We love you Baby Girl!    You rock our world!

 

I won a battle, but not the war!!!!

   So last week I posted about my frustration with Tator and her lack of improvement. Well the weekend didn't go much better, but so far this week hasn't been to bad. No major meltdowns yet. Keeping my fingers crossed that we make it at least until friday.

   Well I want to share a little battle that I just might have won. (for now anyway)

   A few weeks ago a light bulb went on in my head and I became aware of some situations where I was totally being manipulated. Tators showers being one of them.
   Showers have to be supervised with Tator and those of you who have kids with RAD know why, shampoo bottles get emptied, water flung all over the bathroom, etc. Anyway its the same thing every time, she shampoos, soaps up, then rinses. Rinsing is where we have a problem.
   She doesn't rinse. She just stands there, letting the water hit her somewhere on her back, like she has forgot what she's doing. So there I am repeatedly saying "get under the water, rinse your hair," you get the picture. It was so routine I didn't even realize what was going on so a few weeks back I thought i'd try something different. I never said a word when it was time to rinse I just removed the shower head and I rinsed her myself, never saying a word.

    So last night as I was supervising her I was also cleaning up the bathroom so I didn't realize it was "time to rinse". I walked over to check on her and there she was standing completely under the water, running her hands through her hair and rinsing. Totally rinsing. All the soap completely off her. This may seem so little to you, or even so dumb. But to me this is everything. I won. I won. The best part is she didn't even realize it.

  
 

Homeschooling Bubbas

   I started homeschooling because I love to be with my kids. I hated dropping them off at school everyday. It seemed like the school got them all day and I only got to spend 4 hours a night with them. Half of that time was in the car as I ran them from practices or some kind of lessons whatever events they were in at that time. Then trying to squeeze in homework; the whole time trying to understand why they even had it when they had just been at school for 7 hours. So when Bunny started with her school anxieties and she asked to come home I jumped all over that. Of course since she was coming home Buc wanted to come home too.

  

   So about two and a half years ago we started homeschooling. The first year was horrible. I spent a lot of time crying, but we made it through. Everyone said " the first year is the worst" and they were right. We did make it through and the next year went much better. This year Buc went back to junior high so that lightened the load a little.

   Bubbas started kindergarten this year and that has been a challenge. I had done Kindergarten with Tator the year she turned 5 and she picked it up right away, but Bubbas was a whole different story. I was used to teaching the girls who would sit and listen. This boy thing is a whole new experience. He hates it and I have to admit I wasn't really enjoying it either. I debated just waiting another year. Trying when he was a year older, but I pushed on. In the beginning he hated phonics. He wanted to call every letter K, because as he would say "its just easier to call them all that."

   Now I'm happy to say he's getting it. He has even started adding, which in the beginning I never would have thought we'd get to that this year. I use Christian Liberty Press for math and as soon as he has mastered all his phonics were starting the Sing, Spell, Read, and Write program. I am so excited. I hope to have him reading by this summer.

FRUSTRATED

   I have been having a really hard week. I've really been trying to help Tator heal and as much as I try she pushes me away and I'm getting tired of it, worn out and frustrated. As her psychiatrist said the other day, "she clearly likes living in her own private Hell." Right now there seems to be nothing I can do to help her out and this is taking its toll on me.

   As part of her therapy we are supposed to rock Tator for 15 minutes a day. Talking, singing, even "playing baby," the whole time trying to get her to make eye contact. Recreating memories she didn't have as a baby, trying to help her learn to trust. I've been doing it, but she is really resisting. Turning on her ways, trying to get me to engage in arguments, telling me things that aren't true, just to get my reaction, etc. But I continue on, humming lullabies to her because I just can't come to sing after dealing with her pushing me away all day.
   I know this is all normal for a child with attachment problems to push away as you try to get closer. But I've really had a hard time this past week and I'm pretty frustrated. I'm just not seeing any signs of improvement with her right now.