One Hail of a Storm

Last week we had a huge hail storm go through our area.

When it started to hail I thought, how neat I can show

 the kids what hail looks like. Expectally Bubbas who has no idea

 what hail even is.  So I quickly opened the door to show them the ground

 and the balls of hail. It started to get darker and darker and the hail got

 heavier and heavier. When it was over with this is what our yard looked like.

I have never seen anything like it before.

It was hailing so hard it created a stream down our sidewalk

and through the yard down to the road.

Notice the road, it looks like it had just snowed.

When it was all over with Bunny, Tator and Bubbas

thought they'd go out and try to shovel it around.

It was just starting to get dark as the school bus came to drop Tator off.

We were waiting at the door for her so she wouldn't take her time getting into

the house. When she jumped off the bus she started running as fast as

she could to the door. When she got inside she ran up to me and threw her

 arms around my waist and held on real tight. When I touched the top of her head

she was shaking so bad I couldn't believe it. I have only seen her scared one time

in the entire five and a half years she's been here. I pushed her head back to see

 her face, she was crying and was as white as a ghost. I couldn't believe it.

She was scared.

 Really, truly, scared!

 She said she started to get scared on the bus and was really scared about

having to walk up the drive. I held her tight for awhile and then she calmed

 down. Once she saw everything was ok she went to the door and watched

 it hail with the other kids.

I felt so bad for her, but also excited because she had actually felt fear.

   

Just a Glimpse

   Last week I had a glimpse of the relationship Tator and I could have. She was so sweet and kind. She wanted to cuddle and be close to me, so we spent a lot of time snuggling on the couch. One day she even layed in bed beside me and held my hand while I took a nap.
  
In therapy one of the things we've done is play the same same game. We would find ways she's the same as someone else in the family. Liking the same T.V. show as Bunny, having blue eyes like Buster, the same favorite color as mom, then after making the connection, we say "same same."

   She has never played this game at home. Never found ways she's the same as anyone. Last week she started and that's all she did. To where it was getting annoying to the other kids who didn't understand why she was doing this. I on the other hand was really enjoying it because she was starting to identify with us.

   I literally felt warm inside. It was such a good feeling.

   I figured it had a lot to do with the new medication the Dr. put her on. I was glad. I thought finally something to help her regulate so we can start to bond.

   Until Monday. She woke up a mess; grouchy, mad, and I knew we were headed toward a day of regressing. My heart broke. I wanted to cry. Where was that little girl I saw last week? She told me she hadn't slept Sunday night. She often has a hard time sleeping through the night. But it was getting much better. So I blamed the grouchies on that and did what I do with all my grouchy babies. I gave her lunch early and put her down for a nap where she did sleep for a couple hours. I though after I woke her up she'd be in a better mood, but I was wrong. The rest of the day went the same as the morning had.

   I did well though. I didn't regress, which I usually do when she regresses. I pulled out all the tricks I've learned, mostly from you guys, and I got through it. We'll see if I can keep it up if this is how our spring break is going to go.

Choclate Chip Cream Cheese Bars

Tried this recipe the other day and they were wonderful. Thought I'd share it.

1 yellow cake mix                             1 egg
1 egg                                                1/3 cup sugar
1/3 cup oil                                        1 1/2 cup chocolate chips
8oz. cream cheese


Instructions

Combine cake mix, egg and oil together until crumbly. Reserve 1 cup for topping. put remaining crumbs into 9x13 pan. Beat together cream cheese, egg and sugar until smooth. Add chocolate chips. Spread mixture over crust. Sprinkle with reserve crumbs. Bake at 325 for 30 minutes. Do not over bake. Cool and cut into bars.

Welcoming Spring Break





  Yesterday we officially started spring break and let me tell you I am so ready for it. I'm in real need of a break from our daily schedule and commitments. Our days are so full of schooling and daily chores I feel I hardly have time to breathe.

   I plan on using spring break as a time to catch up on all the things I haven't been able to get to because of spending my days schooling. Like tending to piles that need cleaned up, planning Duckies graduation party, i mean come on that's less than two months away probably should get started, and really taking some time to bond with Tator. She's doing so well right now I'm hoping that break doesn't throw her off. I also hope we can start to move forward in her healing and attaching.

   I also plan on making my monthly meal calendar for April and making a trip to the store to stock up for the month. It worked out really well this past month.

   We're also really hoping for nice weather. Buc starts baseball practice this week and the kids want to get outside and play. I would also like to take them on some hikes.

   So how about you? Have you started spring break yet? How do you plan to spend it?

Who Will Cry?

Who will cry for the little boy?
Lost and all alone.
Who will cry for the little boy?
Abandoned without his own?

Who will cry for the little boy?
He cried himself to sleep.
Who will cry for the little boy?
He never had for keeps.

Who will cry for the little boy?
He walked the burning sand.
Who will cry for the little boy?
The boy inside the man.

Will will cry for the little boy?
Who knows well hurt and pain.
Who will cry for the little boy?
He died again and again.

Who will cry for the little boy?
A good boy he tried to be.
Who will cry for the little boy?
Who cries inside of me?

                  Finding Fish
                  Antwone Quenton Fisher
                    

Laundry issues

   I was determined the next post I did about Tator ( my little RADling) would be a positive one, but we've had a laundry issue going on for a while now that I just have to write about. It's the only way I can think about getting over my frustration.

  A few weeks ago I started to ask Tator to bring her dirty laundry down out of her room and put it in the laundry room like the other kids do. She would happen to forget or be busy, etc. So I finally quit asking and her pile just kept getting bigger. She'd always manage to have some clean clothes because if she took a shower she'd take her dirty clothes from the bathroom and put them in the laundry room. For some reason she didn't have a problem with that.

 So every couple days when I reminded everyone to bring down their laundry (in front of her) she'd conveniently be doing something else. In the mornings when I was in her room if I would ask her why she didn't bring her clothes down or why she didn't want them clean she'd say "she didn't feel like it" or "she'd do it tomorrow."

  By now I'm really starting to get irritated. Of course, never letting her know, but it was so obvious this was a control issue. After awhile I started to wonder what I was going to do. Every once in awhile she'd run out of clothes and we'd just pull something out of the dirty pile and she'd be fine to put it on. It never bothered her one bit. I thought for sure by the time she had to start to wear dirty clothes she'd gladly bring them to the laundry room. Who was I kidding?

   Now I'm sure some of you are thinking why wouldn't you just take them to the laundry room yourself? She is only seven. Believe me I thought about it. I even had the thought to wash them all while she was at school then throw them back in a pile in her room so she'd never know I had washed them. At least then they'd be clean. But stubborn me, I was determined she was going to do it herself. There was no reason why she couldn't get them to the laundry room like the rest of the kids.

   This morning I went in to get her up and we got out her last pair of clean jeans and her only shirt left (which was a hand me down that had her sisters name on it.) As she was dressing she said "Today I'm going to bring down some of my clothes so you can wash them then I'll have some more clean clothes in my dresser."

   I took a very deep breath and said " No today your going to bring down all your clothes if it takes five trips. Then your going to put them ALL in the washer and I will turn it on. Then when you get home from school your going to take them ALL out of the washer and put them in the dryer. Then I will turn it on. Then when your done with your homework YOU will take them ALL out of the dryer and fold them and put them away in your dresser the right way."

   And she did. She didn't argue. She didn't protest. She didn't complain. She just did it. Between homework, dinner, and laundry it took her all evening, but she did it.

 Well I guess this post was more positive then I thought it was going to be. She did it and didn't give me any trouble. She didn't throw clothes at her siblings or the laundry basket at me while she was doing it. She just quietly sat down and did it.

Three in a Row

The past 3 months we have celebrated a birthday a month.

Buster in January, Sissy in February, and Bubbas in March. Now were done until July. Except for my dear husband, but we all know once your an adult you don't get the fancy cake and the big party. 

Buster turns 3.

Sissy turns 1.

Bubbas turns 6.  He had to have his picture taken
with his favorite person. His cousin S.

Blessed

Today is our 2nd anniversary of the adoption of our sweet Buster.

We are so blessed to have you as part of our lives.

We love your smiling face and happy personality.

We couldn't imagine life without you.

I'm so glad God picked us to be your parents.

We love you!

We Like Wednesday

Duckie really likes to dress up.

This picture was taken before he left to job shadow at an accounting office.

Its hard to believe he will be graduating in a couple months.

He plans to go to college to become an accountant.

Overcoming Fear

This is Bunny.

 One of my beautiful daughters.

 My first birth daughter, my mini me.

 My extra eyes, ears, hands and feet.

 Having her home everyday is such a blessing.

About two years ago she developed a huge fear of basically leaving my side. She stopped talking in front of crowds of people, going to friends houses, she even stopped spending the night at her grandmas. 

Little by little she has started to get better. She has started spending the night with grandma again and has even spent the night with some friends.

Yesterday was a sign to me that she's coming out of it. At our homeschool meeting she stood up in front of a group of kids and read a Tall Tale she had wrote.

I was so proud of her. She did it. I didn't even have to stand beside her.

Then last night she asked me to sign her up for church camp this summer where she will go for a week with three friends, two hours from home for a week. She went a couple years ago and I know she'll go and be fine.

I'm so proud of you Bunny!

A Good Weekend

   Our weekend went pretty well. Bunny had a slumber party on Friday night so we had three extra girls running around our house, which was fun, but loud. We enjoyed the sunshine and warmer weather on Saturday, but didn't enjoy the time change Saturday night.

   Tator had a good weekend. Much better than last. Her psychiatrist changed her meds again so that could have something to do with it. She's always good the first few days after she starts a new medicine. He's now treating her for PTSD instead of anxiety. The med. for anxiety didn't really help with her mood so he's trying something else. Honestly, I don't think anythings going to help. Its her and until she decides to start to like us and let us be her family nothings going to make our days go smoother.

   But I can't complain about this weekend she did real well. Bunny had volleyball yesterday so Duckie watched the rest of the kids for me. He took them outside and they rode bikes and played well. Then that evening Tator played real well with Bunny.

   Sunday we went to the mall for the Home and Garden Show. And everyone did real well there. After we went to the mall I rented Ramona and Beezus for the girls and I to watch. So that was pretty fun, and it was a cute movie. Tator even asked if she could snuggle up with me about half way through the movie which was a switch. I could feel the tension in her body as she sat with me. I could tell she was trying. That gave me hope. When bed time came she got very upset about little things and I told her I understood she had a good weekend and if she needed to throw a fit she could. She could even say the mean and nasty hurtful things to me that she said last weekend and that would be ok. I still loved her and I still had a good weekend with her. She cried for awhile, but she settled down quickly and went to sleep.

  This week will be busy for us as we will be celebrating Bubba's 6th birthday, and Buster's adoption day anniversary. I am hoping to reach my end of the week schooling goals since there is only two weeks until spring break, but life doesn't always go as I want it to.

  I'm happy to report that my once a month meal planing is going really well. It has been so nice not to have to think about whats for supper or what groceries I have to pick up this week. I just look at the calendar and it's right there. We have had to make some trips to the store for milk and bananas, but no big grocery trips so that has been very nice.

   Hope everyone has a great week.







 

 

Check this out!!!!

   I just have to say I think its AWESOME what Christine (welcome to my brain) is doing.

   So if your parenting a child or children from hard places jump on over there and check it out.

    I know from experience this is the hardest and loneliest time of my life, but all the sudden i'm starting to not feel so alone.

In Like A Lion

   Tuesday, March 1st, was such a beautiful morning. It started out the same as always. I got the older boys up and out the door to school. Then the little ones started to wake and I was rushing around to get everyone dressed. We were going to make a quick run to one of the local grocery stores before we started school because the store was having some items on sale that I needed to complete my big once a month shopping trip. So once we got Tator on the bus, Bunny and I loaded up the three little ones and took off.

   We were about three miles from home when we came to a 90 degree turn. When I came up to it I realized it was a thick patch of ice that was followed by thin layer of black ice. The thing was, I didn't even realize there was black ice until it was all over. We started to fishtail all over the road. I realized at that moment how big and heavy my van truly was. I knew we were out of control and were not going to stop until something stopped us.

   To the right of us was a very steep bank that went down into a field. I knew that was where we were headed, and I remember having so many thoughts of, "how will this end up?", and about how much danger my precious babies were in.

   God had planted his guardian angels on each side of my van because we so gently went over the side of that very steep bank at such a steep angle that I don't know how we didn't roll over, we just slid down until the van was parallel with the bank and sled to a stop. The car still running, nothing broken, we never rolled, the air bag never deployed and most important of all I turned around to see all four of my babies safe. Looking at me with very big eyes, but safe.

  

  The rest of the day was very emotional for me. I spent it hugging the kids a lot and thanking God for being with us and keeping us safe. I couldn't help thinking of something Bunny had said to me as we were leaving that morning. She said "Awe mom, March came in like a lamb, that means its going to go out like a lion." All I could think about was that for me, March had come in like a lion and I can only pray that it will go out like a lamb.

We Like Wednesday

We like eating breakfast together on Sunday mornings before church.

With our busy schedules we don't always get to eat dinner together through the week.

So Sunday morning breakfast give us a little extra family time.

One of our favorite breakfast casseroles is Ham & Potato Strata

3 cups frozen Ore Ida Crispy Crowns

1 cup chopped ham

8 eggs  

1 1/2 cups milk

1 TBS mustard

1 1/2 cups shredded Cheddar cheese

Grease 13X9 baking dish

Layer in ham and crispy crowns

In bowl beat eggs, milk and mustard until

smooth. Pour over potatoes. Sprinkle with cheese.

Cover and refrigerate overnight or for several hours.

Uncover and bake at 350 degrees for 40 to 50 minutes.

Let stand 10 minutes before serving.