One RADical car ride

   Sorry it has taken me a few extra days to write this. The car ride home from the beach was horrible, nothing like I have ever been through.

   The way things had went with Tator in the morning while trying to pack and having to take numerous walks around the house complex with her I knew things were going to be rough. I decided to sit by her in the car so she wasn't making trouble with the rest of the kids all the way home and that of course made her mad. 

   I can't remember what first set her off, but we weren't on the road that long until we had to pull over because she was so out of control. We made her get out of the car with us because she was throwing things and hitting me so much. She ran around the car so dysregulated, yelling and hollering as we stood and watched her, trying to talk to her but she was too mad to listen.

   Finally she decided she would take a walk with Shawn. After they came back she seemed much better and she apologized to everyone in the car for how she acted.

   I thought things would be better after that, but I was sooooo wrong. Pulling over and getting out of the car was something that happened to us 4 other times on the way home. She was so dysregulated she went from screaming at the top of her lungs, to trying to crawl over the seat and hit the boys or grab their blankets from them to hitting me or kicking Buc who was sitting in front of her. 

   I've seen her have some pretty bad episodes, but this was by far the worst. When she would seem to calm down a little I would watch her as her body jumped or twitched. And she would shake her head back and forth.

   I was beyond being therapeutic at this point we were just trying to safely get home. When I wasn't holding her hands down from hitting whoever she could reach, I was holding her back from opening the door. Imagine driving 70 miles down the interstate as your very mentally ill daughter is trying to open the car door with her hands and sometimes her feet from her car seat. I thought about moving her seat but then she would have been directly behind Shawn(who was driving) so I didn't think that would be a safe idea. I have to admit there were times I was scared. I wanted to cry, all I wanted to do was be home.

   After dinner and a couple Trazod*nes I finally just laid across her lap to keep her in her in her seat. It took over an hour for her to fall asleep. I was past exhausted.

   What should  have taken 11 hours to get home took 4 minutes shy of 14 hours.